Jun 4, 2018 | emag.distribution |
Simply living June 2018 DAAJI oN: Selfish love - selfless love The meNTAl SIDe of sport International Day of YoGA www.heartfulnessmagazine.com Creative Team Editorial Team Meghana Anand, Sylvie Berti Rossi, Genia Catala, Elizabeth Denley, Emma Ivaturi Design Team Hlne Camilleri, Emma Ivaturi, Uma Maheswari, Subroto Mukherjee Photography Mark Basarab, Kenan Buhic, Daiga Ellaby, Gemma Evans, Chinh le Duc, Toa Heftiba, Thananchai Jaipa, David Marcu, Annie Spratt, Stefan Stefancik, James Thomas, Anastasia Yilmaz Art Claire Bigand, Anne-Grethe Kausgaard Writers Megha Bajaj, Elizabeth Denley, Barbara J. Levin O'Riordan, Kamlesh Patel, Neelam Shivhare, Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee, Ravi Venkatesan Interviewees Devinder Singh Bhusari, Dr Gary Huber, Dr H.R. Nagendra ISSN 2455-7684 Contributions articles, images and letters to the editors, email@example.com Advertising firstname.lastname@example.org Subscriptions email@example.com www.heartfulnessmagazine.com/subscriptions Editor Rishabh Kothari Printed by Sunil Kumar Kala Jyothi Process Pvt. Limited, 1-1-60/5, RT C Cross Roads, Musheerabad, Hyderabad-500 020, Telangana Publisher Sunil Kumar representing Spiritual Hierarchy Publication Trust on behalf of Sahaj Marg Spirituality Foundation, Chennai. 2015 Sahaj Marg Spirituality Foundation Printing, publishing, distribution, sales, sponsorship and revenue collection rights vests with the Publisher alone. www.heartfulnessmagazine.com All rights reserved. 'Heartfulness', 'Heartfulness Relaxation', 'Heartfulness Meditation', 'Sahaj Marg Spirituality Foundation', 'SMSF', 'www.Heartfulness.org', the 'Learn to Meditate' logo, the 'Heartfulness' logo are registered Service Marks and/or Trademarks of Sahaj Marg Spirituality Foundation. No part of this magazine may be reproduced in any form or by any means without prior written permission from the Publisher. The views expressed in the contributions in this publication do not always reflect those of the editors, the Heartfulness Institute, or the Sahaj Marg Spirituality Foundation. Heartfulness Contributors Chancellor of S-VYASA University, Bengaluru, and President of the Indian Yoga Association, Dr Nagendra has been at the forefront of research into the benefits of Yoga on health and well-being since the 1980s, combining the best of the western scientific approach with the Yogic and Vedic traditions of ancient India. He has received many awards and honors, both in India and on the international stage, including the Global Peace Award from the World Peace Council in 2015 and Padma Shri from the Indian Government in 2016. Dr H.R. Nagendra An award-winning author, film writer and revolutionary educator, Megha Bajaj is the co-founder of Miraaya Holistic Growth Center, a premier and one-of-a-kind organization whose 'soul' purpose is to prepare children to be life-ready and not just exam-ready. With over 25,000 followers on her social network pages and two popular books in her name, Megha believes that her journey as a seeker has just begun. Her writings are soothing and inspiring in a way that they touch and evoke responses from deep within. Megha Bajaj Ranked #1 in men's tennis in Asia in the under-14 category; the first player from India to be included in the World Junior Team; co-founder of the Shaishya Tennis Academy, Gujarat, India; these are some of the laurels that Devinder Singh Bhusari has feathered in his cap. In addition to being a very successful tennis player, this young prodigy also received an MBA degree from one of the premier B-schools in India. What keeps him inspired and grounded amidst success and his current work is meditation. Devinder Singh Bhusari Elizabeth Denley, Rishabh Kothari Meghana Anand, Sylvie Berti Rossi Genia Catala, Emma Ivaturi THE PROMISE OF YOGA Dear readers, In this issue, we celebrate International Day of Yoga on 21 June, now in its third year. We feature an exclusive interview with Dr H.R. Nagendra, President of the Indian Yoga Association, and bring you glimpses of last year's celebrations on 21 June in different parts of the world. We interview Devinder Singh Bhusari, an ace tennis player who has made a career guiding young talent, and Dr Gary Huber, an expert in integrative medicine. Llewellyn Vaughan Lee opens us to the art of cleaning, while Anne-Grethe Kousgaard's paintings are inspired by the beauty of nature. Daaji continues his series on Ashtanga Yoga, focusing this month on the most profound limbs, Dharana, Dhyana and Samadhi. In nature, certain elements are able to dissolve into one another to become one. For example, have you ever wondered why a solid cube of salt or sugar easily dissolves in water while oil remains floating on the surface without mixing? The answer lies in their inner constitution. Similarly, by practicing Yoga, our inner constitution is molded so as to dissolve into the Ultimate. This International Day of Yoga is an opportunity to pause, practice, experience, absorb and dissolve. The editors 24 Yoga Heartfulness Around the World 12 International Day of Yoga Dr H.R. Nagendra Yoga 16 focus 10 thought in action in the field Business relationships Ravi Venkatesan The Heartful Negotiator Part 5 26 Teamwork Elizabeth Denley 10 Tips for Working With Others 32 Capt. Mahendra Singh Heartfulness on the High Seas 08 interview Sport Devinder Singh Bhusari The Mental Side of the Game Part 1 36 34 taste of life Nature art Anne-Grethe Kousgaard Leaf Patterns - an Art Essay 68 Heartfulness Asanas Bhadrasana 72 Integrative medicine Dr Gary Huber Meditation & Health Part 1 74 66 be inspired 52 what's up 78 Being Present Megha Bajaj When I Walk, I Walk 54 Science of Spirituality Ashtanga Yoga Samyama - Part 1 Daaji on Inner Focus 58 it changes everything Spiritual Ecology Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee Cleaning 44 Forgiveness Barbara J. Levin O'Riordan Choosing to Believe 49 42 desk of Daaji 82 CAPTAIN MAHENDRA SINGH Commanding Officer, MT FF Endeavor There are 25 to 30 persons employed on-board a ship for up to 8 months at a stretch, away from family and facing various challenges at sea like bad weather, extended hours of working, commercial pressure, different cultures, and language and national barr iers. In addition, we are challenged with meeting the high expectations of shipping companies, frequent audits and inspections by third parties and callings of the government, breakdowns of instruments and machineries at sea, emergencies like fires, collisions, grounding and piracy, and other medical emergencies. A ship at sea is a world away from the world. Though life at sea seems very quiet from the viewpoint of a person on land, in reality it is full of action. Many times we have to push the boundaries, as the staff sailing on the ship handles all emergencies and affairs. This makes us stressed and disconnected, with health issues at times. Seeing all this, I had the instinct to initiate a Maritime Mobile Center where everyone could practice Heartfulness Meditation, develop peace, joy and connectedness, and thereby improve their work efficiency and manage stress in a better way. On The High Seas Heartfulness Soon all the personnel were introduced to Heartfulness Meditation. When we finished the first session, everyone was astonished with the kind of experience they had, which reset and refreshed them as if someone had waved a magic wand. Upon completion of the introductory sessions, meditation sessions were held every Sunday and Wednesday, as well as individual sessions at other times. My personal experience is that Heartfulness Meditation is a means to liberate ourselves from complexities, anxieties, fear and stress, and in turn fill us with joy, happiness and love. In IN THE FIELD8 Hear tfulne ss organizations like ours, where work stress is very high, it is like a Ram-vana (the arrow of Lord Ram), which never fails to find its mark. Before I had to shout to get things done in a proper way, but now I don't feel like shouting even if there is cause for it. Heartfulness has transformed me. In the shipping industry, employees are rotated among the ships in a company and very few go back to the same ship. There is a change of staff on-board a particular ship every 4 to 8 months, so now Heartfulness sessions are conducted regularly for newcomers. Till now more than 200 seafarers have experienced Heartfulness and whenever they sign off the ship, the contact details of the nearest centers and trainers are shared with them so they may continue during their leave. The effectiveness of Heartfulness Meditation is seen in that our ship has received the 'best performing ship' prize twice out of 120 ships. Many of the shore authority officers who come on board for official visits in different countries tell me that they feel positive energy and good vibes on the ship. Once a pilot who boarded the ship in Ruwais, UAE, wrote to the shipping company that on this ship everything is in order, and the staff is competent and the atmosphere very serene. Visitors from Japan have experienced Heartfulness on board the ship, when we visited Chiba, Tokyo, as have dozens of British, French and Russian Navy Commandos, on-board to safeguard the ship in piracy-prone areas. The maritime community is thankful for Heartfulness on the high seas, far beyond the reach of land. 9 June 2018 focuS yogaYoga takes you into the present moment, the only place where life exists. Patanjali As Hear tfulness is a practice with its roots in Yoga, Hear tfulness Institute has been honoring and celebrating International Day of Yoga on the 21 June ever since its inception in 2015. There ha ve been many community events around the world, which have brought Hear tfulness together with various other groups and organizations in the spirit o f 'union' to offer the benefits of Yoga to ever yone . The momentum has been building ever y year. In this visual journey, we share with you some of the events of 2017, highlighting just a sample from different par ts of the globe. The events planned for 2018 wil l touch even more hear ts , and we invite you to join us wherever you are in the world. h ttp://iyd.hear tfulness .org Hear tfulne ss ar o u n d the wo r ld Heartfulness 21 June 2017 OMTO Distillery, Toronto Canada On the evening of 21 June 2017, in Sydney, Australia, International Day of Yoga was celebrated at Parliament House, with a program organized by the Indian Association of Australia for state parliamentarians, consuls and other dignitaries and friends. Our Heartfulness team guided the audience through Heartfulness Relaxation and Meditation. Sydney, Parliament House, Australia 13 June 2018 Yo ga Uttarakhand, India A Heartfulness Meditation Workshop was held from 19 to 21 June 2017 for the employees and family members of a hydroelectric project in the Himalayan state of Uttarakhand, India. Munich, Germany A full-day program was sponsored by the Consulate of India in Munich with many Yoga associations participating. The program began with an opening ceremony, oil lamps being lit by the representatives of the various Yoga associations, including Heartfulness. 300 people showed interest to know about Heartfulness, some 50 people experienced Heartfulness Relaxation and Meditation in our booth and many more when Heartfulness was conducted from the main stage at noon. It is our third time being part of the OMTO event, and it is a very good partnership. New seekers see us as part of the Toronto Yoga movement. Indianapolis, Indiana, USA Heartfulness meditation for NCC cadets: Hyderabad, India On the occasion of International Day of Yoga 2017, the National Cadet Corps Directorate in Hyderabad celebrated with all their cadets across Andhra Pradesh and Telangana, including half an hour of Heartfulness Relaxation and Meditation along with the standard protocol of Yoga as mandated by the Ministry of AYUSH. In most of the centers, Heartfulness Institute provided a Yoga teacher to conduct the standard government protocol and then a certified Heartfuness trainer introduced thousands to Heartfulness Meditation. In London's iconic Trafalgar Square, on the hottest day of 2017, 40 volunteers from Heartfulness, UK, set up their stand to welcome thousands of visitors to the International Yoga Day 2017 event hosted by the High Commission of India. They gave interviews to national and international media as well as an experiential session of Heartfulness from the main stage. 14 Hear tfulne ss Yo ga Trafalgar Square, London, UK Meditation on the seafront was organized by the Trieste Heartfulness Center to celebrate International Yoga Day. The center invited other Yoga associations in the city to participate. The meditation session was held at 9 p.m., when many local people go for an evening stroll along the seafront promenade. Lille, France Lille is a town in the North of France with a rich history, notably being occupied during two world wars and as an industrial center for textiles and coal. The local people went through very hard times economically and socially last century, but Lille has been experiencing a great renewal in recent years. There are now more than 150,000 students in the area, and many hearts are opening to meditation. For the International Day of Yoga, 21 June 2017, a Yoga and Heartfulness Meditation sessions was organized in the park. Through a Facebook event more than 200 people came, and 1000 people replied that they were interested to come. There was such a happy and peaceful energy. People experienced both Heartfulness Meditation and physical Yoga, and were very happy. Many stayed to listen to a lovely bansuri flute concert. Because of this wonderful experience, a bigger event is being organized for 2018. Many students are now aware of meditation in Lille. We do weekly Heartfulness Meditation sessions in EDHEC Business School, Sciences Po Lille, Universit Catholique de Lille, and a few other colleges. EDHEC's students created a student association in the school called Inside- Out, to offer meditation sessions to the students every week (Inside), and to create events to promote meditation in local businesses (Out). Many students and staff from companies come to these outside events to experience Heartfulness and Mindfulness meditations. One mother told us that her children could recognize if she had been to meditation on Friday because she was more relaxed during the weekend. One of her children recently said, "Mum, please relax! You should go to your meditation session. I am sure you haven't been this week. Don't forget to go next week, because you're so cool when you go there." June 2018 15 Yo ga Trieste, Italy Hear tfulne ss Y GA O Q Good morning sir. We would like to start with a very personal question. You were a scientist with NASA, and chose to come back to India to dedicate your career to spreading Yoga. What really prompted you to do this? The search for Reality. When I started doctoral research I asked, "What is the real purpose of the research that we are doing?" We talk about a Doctorate in Philosophy, a PhD, but are we doing philosophy? What is the whole idea? And it all came down to the idea that the search for Reality is the objective of the research being done. Are we really moving towards Reality with all the research that we do? The immediate answer was, "No." So what was the way out? These were the questions that were being raised among the faculty and students. Then I got in touch with a professor of chemistry who was very well-versed in Sanskrit, the Upanishads etc. Through these interactions, I started getting a new direction from the Upanishads. They tell us that you have to go beyond the physical. What we were doing in science is essentially all about the physical world. And now a time has come where science is moving beyond the physical, to understand (yo' )e g DR H.R. NAGENDRA, Chancellor of S-VYASA University and President of the Indian Yoga Association, speaks about International Day of Yoga and the impact Yoga is having globally. June 2018 Yo ga 17 the deeper dimensions of this creation. What is prana? What is the mind? Can the mind exist without the brain and the body? What is the intellect? What is the relationship among the mind, the emotions, the intellect and consciousness? Do gods and goddesses exist? Into this field of subtlety and causality, science has started moving, and it was all here in the Upanishads thousands of years back. I found the complete answer to all my questions, the Upanishads attracted me and I entered into this field. I had gone abroad to see what were the best institutions and the directions science was taking, how technologies were moving, and what I wanted to study. After that I came back to India to continue this process. I joined the Vivekananda Kendra in Kanyakumari to train people in this direction. The head of the organization, Eknath ji Ranade, told me, "Now your direction is here, and you have to train youngsters." That is how I became the director of training, and I stayed there for fourteen years before my current work started here at S-VYASA. Q So it was the quest for Reality that drove you. Yes, from mechanical engineering to human engineering. Q What role do you see Yoga playing, especially in health and education, in the years to come? Thanks to our Prime Minister, Yoga has now spread all over the world. One single speech by him at the UN Assembly, giving the holistic position of Yoga, not just as a physical exercise or other individual things, but as the science of holistic living, was presented so nicely that it almost hypnotized everyone. 183 countries approved his suggestion that 21 June should become the International Day of Yoga. He was telling me that the most surprising thing was that 45 Islamic countries came forward offering their support. This global support opened up the possibilities for Yoga throughout the world in an unprecedented way. Now the scope has spread everywhere. There are a lot of Yoga institutions in India and abroad, and he wanted to synergize their efforts, as they were all working in isolation. Therefore we formed the Indian Yoga Association, of which I am the President, and here you will find most of the main sansthas of India. This is how the synergy started growing. I feel that health and education will be very much impacted by Yoga. Swami Vivekananda said that the entire education system has to be remolded. What is happening today is essentially Britannic education. There should be man-making education and nation-building education and for that Yoga is the right way. Meditation is the right way of doing it. So we must build this dimensionally into our education system. I feel that health and education will be very much impacted by Yoga. Swami Vivekananda said that the entire education system has to be remolded. Yo ga 18 Hear tfulne ss So our Prime Minister said, "It should not be just one day of practice on 21 June by the largest number of people, but it should go into our education system." So we work with all the main government institutions to integrate Yoga with education at the center. For example, in India the National Council for Teacher Education (NCTE) is training 1,300,000 teacher educators every year in pre-primary education. Then we have the National Council of Educational Research and Training (NCERT), for primary and high school level, and the University Grants Commission (UGC) for higher education. In all these organizations, the committees have welcomed us, and we have gathered a number of Yoga masters to develop a syllabus, a curriculum, which will be compulsory. Initially there was some resistance, and a group of people took it to the courts. But the Supreme Court ruled that Yoga is good for everyone, and has now approved a Yoga syllabus for schools. The Yoga syllabus aims to bring about the total development of the personality, at all levels. The second dimension is the health scenario. Modern medicine deals very effectively with infectious and contagious diseases, but the non- communicable diseases like arthritis, diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, epilepsy, migraine, irritable bowel syndrome and cancer have ruined the possibility of bringing health for all by 2010. So the WHO did not succeed in its endeavor. Why is this so? Because these modern ailments are not really physical. Our knowledge base in the physical may be total, but these diseases result from mental restlessness, emotional disturbance, and deep-rooted psychological conflict. It is a set of lifestyle diseases. So unless you bring about a totality of lifestyle normalization, you will not find the solution. Yoga and AYUSH systems have been doing that over the last 40 years and publishing their findings with wonderful results. It has been put into the framework of modern scientific research. Swami Vivekananda said : combine the best of the East with the best of the West. The best of the West is modern scientific research, and the best of the East is our wisdom way. The two have to be combined. This is how we started our movement and we started publishing papers in the best journals of the world. In 1986 we published the results of a four-and-a-half-year study on the 19 June 2018 Yo ga effect of Yoga on bronchial asthma, and all of a sudden there was acceptance worldwide that Yoga could be used to treat asthma. Then we brought out a book, Yoga for Common Ailments. So for 18 different ailments, how do you bring Yoga in its full perspective? When that book came out it was published simultaneously in London, Sydney and New York. Then it was translated into many languages and became a bestseller. Now it has become a sort of textbook. Now we have produced almost 500 publications like this. Comparing all the institutions, no one else has been able to do this amount of research. In the field of Yoga worldwide, our contribution is probably between 50% and 70% of the total. That is why we call this organization Swami Vivekananda Yoga Anusandhana Samsthana or S-VYASA, as it is a research organization. Q How well is the age-old tradition of Yoga being received by the modern scientific community ? Earlier there was a lot of resistance, because people thought: 1 Yoga is Hinduism 2 Yoga does not have a base 3 Yoga is some sort of physical exercise, and they started distorting all sorts of physical exercise into Yoga and bringing in animals as well, with dog yoga, cat yoga and what not. So there has been a great need for revamping and bringing the essential language of Yoga to the world at large. And that is what our Prime Minister did in such a big way. So three years back, on International Day of Yoga, 21 June, around 1,800,000 people practiced this common protocol in India, and throughout the world people practiced in almost 130 countries. Last year in India we had around 2,800,000 practicing and this year our target is 4,000,000. And we hope that all countries will participate. And now a time has come where science is moving beyond the physical, to understand the deeper dimensions of this creation. What is prana? What is the mind? Can the mind exist without the brain and the body? What is the intellect? What is the relationship among the mind, the emotions, the intellect and consciousness? 20 Hear tfulne ss Yo ga Swami Vivekananda said: combine the best of the East with the best of the West. Our Minister of External Affairs has been very bold in following up to promote Yoga Day abroad. We want to share our tradition. Q Can you speak more about the impact of Yoga on non-communicable diseases, like diabetes, cancer etc.? Can Yoga offer a solution ? What we did was to develop collaborations with the topmost institutions in the world, so that acceptability is easy. First of all with the Royal Free Hospital in London we worked on diabetes in the 1980s. Then at the Middlesborough General Hospital in the UK we worked on arthritis. After this, at the University of California, San Francisco, we worked on pre-diabetes and HIV. Then in Los Angeles we worked on irritable bowel syndrome. The biggest center for cancer research is the MD Anderson Cancer Center, so there we have our work on cancer, especially breast cancer. In this way we spread our wings throughout and went to the best research institutions in the world to establish the efficacy of Yoga as an adjunct to conventional medicine. This is how Yoga was June 2018 brought into the health field, particularly in cities. We have also been doing the same in India, with all the institutions here. In all the hospitals we have our Yoga teams supporting patients and doing research. Recently we wanted to bring this work into the All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS). So I gave a talk and they said they were very fascinated and would start working with us. Fortunately there was some space available in their tower, so they gave us around 4,000 square feet to establish an advanced center for integrative medical research. When we started, all the departments came with so much enthusiasm, so now there are 24 research projects going on there. In the next two to three years, AIIMS will produce a lot of research findings in this field. It will be a wonderful result. AIIMS is the topmost research institute in the country, with the best brains, the best equipment, the best infrastructure, and the largest number of patients. When I asked them, "Are you producing papers in the best journals? How many papers have you published in good international journals?" they said, "None." So I told them, "This is what you have to do." Recently we have started publishing papers in the top journals, and now they are all inspired. So the entire thing has to be brought with modern scientific research because everywhere people want evidence. Diabetes is reaching epidemic proportions in India now; China is number one and India is number two. But we are racing to go beyond China, and the expectation is that by 2024 we will become number one in the world. Can we prevent that? We were very keen to find a way. So I said: let the government join hands with Yoga institutions and bring about a positive change, and we took up a project about two years back where we screened around 250,000 people in six cities all over the country and gave them three months of Yoga. Their medication started coming down, sugar levels were getting normalized, and there were wonderful results. Based on this study, we are going to take the Yoga module that we have developed as a national program. The Minister for Health and Family Welfare announced that this program would be taken up nationally. Now he wants us to focus on cancer control, which he has given as a mandate for this year. It is called the integrative cancer project, and it is much bigger. We will be doing this in 125 districts, scanning 20,000,000 people. So we are seeking the help of all the different Yoga institutions because we have to scale up. We need the entire country to benefit from what we have found here in a small way. Once we do that, it will be a direction to the whole world on how Yoga is useful for health. There is a holistic vision to see that it brings about the delivery of a proper health care system. We should be very efficient and give immediate relief to people, with no side effects and, most important, cost effectively. That's the beauty of Yoga. If you are a computer engineer, it helps you to become more effective as a computer engineer, because while doing Yoga you will reduce your stress. 22 Hear tfulne ss Yo ga Interviewed by Prasanna Krishna Q I was reading somewhere, sir, that Yoga practitioners don't need proof; it is only for the external world that we need to provide the impact analysis to convince them. Many people think that way. Yoga and the Vedas are thousands of years old, whereas a western allopathic medical center may only be 400 years old. That is one way of thinking. But we also have to update our tradition, and to go on updating according to the times. There are things that were relevant 5,000 years back, 1,000 years back, 300 years back, which may not be so relevant today. Our requirements will be quite different. So we have to tailor our approach to the requirements of modern society, with the types of modules and other things we offer. This is what we are trying to do. Research is very necessary, and once we show the results of the research the whole world is going to accept. Otherwise, many people will not accept. For example, now Yoga has been accepted, meditation has been accepted, but Ayurveda and Homeopathy are not yet accepted. So when we start integrative centers in different parts of the world, people have no problem with Yoga but some still do with Ayurveda. So we have started doing a lot of research in Ayurveda and other systems also, to see that they also come to the forefront. That is the dimension today. Q One last question, sir. Do you have any message for the younger generation ? To youngsters I would say that Yoga has a message for all. I invite them on International Day of Yoga to take up the simple module offered and practice it. Once they do the practice they will start growing very nicely in their own respective field. That's the beauty of Yoga. If you are a computer engineer, it helps you to become more effective as a computer engineer, because while doing Yoga you will reduce your stress. So all the IT companies have started using Yoga to help their employees relax. Like that, Yoga has its application in all fields. So the youth of today are welcome to start doing the practice by participating in International Yoga Day. Start doing the practice for yourself, and it will bring about changes. It will bring about real transformation. 23 June 2018 Yo ga in actionTHOUGHTA clear and innocent conscience fears nothing. Queen Elizabeth the First 26 Hear tfulne ss In the previous four articles of this series RAVI VENKATESAN reviewed a conceptual framework of the heart and mind vibrational field, and explored the four main emotional dualities that exist within the field of the Heart, and how to manage these during negotiations. In this article he will expand on the fifth duality, Clarity versus Doubt, and explore thoughts and ideas in more depth. Clarity, Thoughts and Ideas - Mind Games hear tful NE GOTIATOR PArT 5 the Clarity versus Doubt We often hear comments like, "His judgment was clouded," "She wasn't thinking clearly," etc. In negotiations more than anywhere else, we sometimes feel a block in being able to perceive things clearly. This is all around clarity versus doubt or confusion. This duality is right at the intersection of the heart and mind and decides how effective the processes of the mind will be. Love vs Anger Greed vs Contentment Worries and Concerns Desires Likes and Dislike Guilt Fear vs Courage Peace vs Restlessness Clarity vs Doubt Ego perception - Me vs We Intellect - Logic and Reason Mind - Ad hoc ideas and wandering FEELINGS & EMOTIONS PRIOR DISPOSITION THOuGHTS & IDEAS 27 June 2018 Busine ss relationship s JANET : Hi Joshua, I got your email recommending that Jason be retained an extra year in the 1st grade. I know he had challenges with a couple of assignments, but this sounds like an overreaction. I can help him keep up. Please consider letting him progress to the 2nd grade. JOSHuA: Janet, I know you have a hard time as a single parent in looking after your son. We have to be objective though; Jason will have to repeat the year. JANET: First of all, this has nothing to do with my marital status. I know what I am doing as a parent. I also know that when the same thing happens with other kids, they are not asked to repeat the year. You just seem to be biased against my son and me. Janet comes back the next day with the following message: "You are right. I wasn't thinking clearly. I cannot let my fears about how I will be perceived impact my judgment in doing the best for Jason. When I calmed myself down and tried to listen to my heart in terms of the best decision to make, it was clear that your recommendation is the right one. Thank you very much for being patient." This short scenario is loaded with insights for us. Remember the vicious and virtuous cycles of opposites we discussed in the last article. To understand the dynamics of clarity versus doubt, consider a simple negotiation between a parent, Janet, and her son Jason's teacher, Joshua. Joshua wants to retain Jason for an extra year in the 1st grade, as he believes he is not keeping up. Janet believes that she can provide him a little help and he will do fine, and that Joshua is way overreacting to some minor challenges with Jason's assignments. JOSHuA: I apologize if I offended you. My intent wasn't to be insensitive. I only want to support all parents the best way possible. My concern is that if we let Jason go to the second grade, in spite of the challenges he had this year, he might struggle even more and get demoralized. If he repeats a year now, he may become more confident for life. JANET: I am sorry I reacted that way. It has been hard to juggle my job, Jason's needs and the rest of my life. I see your point. I am just worried about being seen as a failure as a parent. JOSHuA: I understand, but let's put Jason first. I am open to him progressing, if you feel you can truly support him more next year. Will you please take a day to relax, and with a calm mind consider my recommendation. 28 Hear tfulne ss Thoughts and Ideas Now let's explore the thoughts and ideas in the mind. Remember that learning how to manage feelings and emotions in the heart is foundational to being able to manage thoughts and ideas in the mind. Consider the statement that, "We feel way before we think." Let's explore the more important idea in the mind, our ego, which simply put is our mental model of ourselves. This model is constantly updating What is fascinating is that both the vicious and virtuous cycles in this case were each triggered by one single comment on Joshua's part. Here are some suggestions on managing clarity versus doubt: Frequently check internally, asking yourself, "Am I thinking and perceiving clearly?" Be alert to the downward spiral of discontent -> restlessness -> anger -> fear -> doubt. If you feel emotions are clouding your judgment, or the other person's, then take time out. Try and listen to your heart. The best clarity comes from a clear heart. This voice gets stronger as you listen to it more. In this scenario, we saw both of these cycles. Initially Joshua's comments about being a single parent, and seemingly hard line on having Jason repeat the year, threw Janet into a negative spiral. She wanted Jason to progress (discontent) -> She became restless as the conversation wasn't going how she wanted -> She got angry at the "single parent" comment -> She was afraid that she would be perceived as a bad mom -> Her judgement was completely clouded. She lashed out! Later as Joshua apologized and articulated his perspective more carefully, she felt more content with his apology -> She calmed down -> She felt more positively towards him -> She felt like she could muster courage to make the right decision -> A timeout let her listen to her heart and decide with a clear vision. Busine ss relationship s LOV E H ATE COURAGE F EAR C LARITY DOUBT CONTENTMENT GREED P EACE RE STLE SSNE SS 29 June 2018 and going through micro refinements, though it has a long-term state, which manifests as our perception of 'Myself versus Others', in other words, the 'Me versus We' mode of operation. I deliberately use 'Me versus We', but let's begin by first understanding the 'Me versus You' perception that we carry. Almost always, we consider ourselves to be right and the other person wrong, ourselves to be good the other person bad. We also often consider ourselves weak and the other person strong, or vice versa. Thomas A. Harris postulates in his bestseller I'm OK You're OK that we stay in 4 ego states: I'm not OK, you're OK I'm not OK, you're not OK I'm OK, you're not OK I'm OK, you're OK Rarely do we stay in the 4th ego state of 'I'm OK, you're OK', which is exactly where we need to be for Heartful negotiation. Let's consider a short scenario to understand the impact of 'Me versus We' in negotiation. Colin is the founder of SmartOffers, an exciting software startup that presents shopping suggestions and offers to users on their mobile phones, based on their locations. He is meeting with Kim, who runs the merchant offers business for a very large multinational corporation. If the meeting is successful then Kim's company could acquire Colin's startup, which would provide significant financial benefit to him. Busine ss relationship s 30 Hear tfulne ss Busine ss relationship s KIM: Colin, it is exciting to meet with the founder of such an exciting new startup. Congratulations on the idea and getting this far. COLIN: Kim, great to meet you as well. Not sure what you mean by getting this far, though. We have multiple pilots with real customers, and everyone likes our product. KIM: Of course, great work. I meant that you did great getting it to some free pilots, but it will take a lot more experience and support to get customers to pay real money for a product like this. COLIN: I do have a lot of experience in this space, and two patents as well. I feel like we're getting off on the wrong foot here. Let's get something straight first, you are meeting with me because I have built something innovative that larger companies like yours struggle to build. KIM: That may be true, but coming up with a good idea and scaling it are two different things. I have decades of experience with taking startups and making something real out of them. Frankly, we get approached by dozens of companies pitching their innovations. COLIN: Let's not do business together. I find your approach arrogant and not appreciative of what I have accomplished. KIM: I am sorry you feel that way, but my time is limited, and I get a lot of these ideas coming my way. This is a classic case of a negotiation dying even before it has a chance to get started, because of ego. Not everyone in business operates this way, but this happens way more than any of us would like to believe. Arrogance and egotistic behaviors kill more deals than anything else. The consequences are unfathomable. A poor country doesn't get the aid it needs because the Prime Minister who went to negotiate with a rich neighbor felt like she wasn't treated as an equal. Millions suffer because of one person's ego. Two countries go to war because one leader insults the other publicly. In this case thousands die because of one person's ego. Hostages are killed because one negotiator wanted to be tough, and let his ego get in the way of continuing dialogue. A disease assumes epidemic proportions because the leader of the militia in control of an area will not provide access to humanitarian aid, as it may make him appear weak. Here are a few tips to manage our egos through negotiations: Leave it off the table the other party praising you and inflating your ego should not be a prerequisite or a factor of negotiation. Shift yourself from the 'me' mode to the 'we' mode. Don't just think from the other person's perspective, but truly approach the negotiation as a team trying to solve a problem collaboratively. Be alert to the mode you are in, if you find yourself slipping into 'I'm OK, you're not OK', or 'I'm not OK, you're OK', or "I'm not OK, you're not OK' ego states, gently center yourself with a pause, and come back to 'I'm OK, you're OK' mode. We'll continue to refine our techniques of managing the ego in subsequent articles where we understand other mental processes and how to manage them. Till then, observe the ego state you are in, even in day-to-day interactions, not just high stakes negotiations. 31 June 2018 1 Despite all the gadgets, technologies and vir tual working styles in most modern offices, it is still relationships that matter most. Here are a few tips from ELIZABETH DENLEY on creating effective working relationships and teams: for Working With Others Meet face-to-face when possible. Effective teamwork needs the human touch. Look for everyone's genius. Be open and welcome different points of view and styles of working. Listen. You will learn a lot! 2 3 4 10 tips When you speak, let your voice radiate calmness, cooperation and trust, without defensiveness, roughness or aggression. Before sleeping at night, scan the events of your day. How can you do better next time? Resolve not to repeat mistakes and then you will sleep with a light, happy disposition. Consciously let go of any negative reactions and conflict that arise. 5 Be willing to see past your own agenda. Harmony matters more than being right. All situations are opportunities to expand your consciousness. 6 Be patient. Pause. Be poised. Center yourself when necessary. 7 When there are differences of opinion, take up the challenge of integrating them into a higher synergy. A strong collective vision transcends individual perspectives. The whole is always greater than the parts. 9 10 8 interviewWhen considering the stature of an athlete or for that matter any person, I set great store in certain qualities which I believe to be essential in addition to skill. They are that the person conducts his or her life with dignity, with integrity, courage, and perhaps most of all, with modesty. Sir Donald Bradman 36 Hear tfulne ss T HE M ENTAL S IDE O F PArT 1the game DEVINDER SINGH BHuSARI made it big on the international tennis circuit. In 1999 he was ranked Asia no. 1 in the under 14 category, and he has the distinction of being the first ever Indian tennis player to be invited by the International Tennis Federation (ITF) to be a part of the World Junior Team to the uSA in the same year. But then, as a young adult, he chose to take his career in tennis in a different direction. Today, as part of a team of experts, Devinder successfully coaches young talent in the Shaishya Tennis Academy in Gujarat, India, and offers counseling to students and their parents. This strengthens them in the sport and grooms them to face the challenges of life at large. 37 June 2018 Q What attracted you to tennis, Devinder? What led you to pursue it as a full-time vocation? My journey as a tennis player, even the career that I am pursuing now, started because of my father. He wanted me to be a sportsperson. He had wanted to be a cricketer himself, so in a way he wanted to live his dream through me. And he wanted me to be a cricketer, and like a lot of other Indian kids my journey also started with cricket at the age of three-and-a-half. He motivated me, and later on I went into athletics and then to tennis. I started playing tennis well, and I played competitive tennis at the international level. I think in those years growing up, tennis and academics were the only two things that I did. Later on during my post- graduate days, as I was trying to figure out what I was really good at or what I would like to do, my heart guided me to realize that I really got a kick out of training and mentoring others. So after I did my major in human resources, I combined the two things that I really wanted to do: training and mentoring young kids and adults and tennis. That's why today I am in this profession of tennis coaching and tennis counseling. Q Did you ever feel pressured, or was there any clash between what you wanted to do and what your father wanted you to do? I w a s m o t i v a t e d a n d inspired, actually. He used to put pictures and newspaper articles in front of me, or we would watch cricket matches together on television, and I would see the laurels that sportspersons got for the country and for their friends and families. My father used to say, "People usually come into this world and do something just to lead a normal life, get married, have children and so on. Your life should be different. You should become something." So that message stuck in my mind that he wanted me to be different, he wanted me to be a sportsperson. I liked sports so there was never a clash between what I wanted to do and what my father wanted me to do, until I was 21 or 22. I guess since birth I was just very obedient to my parents! But at the age of 21 or 22 I had the question: What do I want to do? And as I already explained, at the age of 22 I stopped playing competitive tennis and started exploring what I really wanted in life. After that things changed, I changed not radically, but I found a balance between what my father wanted for me in life and what I want, and kind of combined the two. I'm leading a happy life right now! During my MBA, I secured a placement with Indian Oil Corporation. My parents were super happy but I was dissatisfied; I wanted to do more. My father, especially, wasn't in favor of me quitting the job. It took six months to convince him to let me get into the field of tennis coaching. Q Oh, beautiful. So how did you go about finding that balance? It was very important to know what my strengths were. What is it that I really wanted to do in life? I had started practicing meditation at the age of 19, while I was doing my Bachelor of Commerce. 38 Hear tfulne ss 39 June 2018 Meditation helped me to be in touch with myself. Of course it helped me on the tennis court, but it also helped me off the tennis court, because I came to know who I really am, what are my strengths, and what is it that I really like doing. At that point in time I knew a lot of people who were really struggling with the question of what to do in life, whereas in my case, the more I came to know about myself, the more options actually started opening up. So I never felt lost, or had the question, "What am I going to do next?" In fact I knew that I could do this, or this, or this. It was all about choosing the best option. So that was the beauty of meditation. Q What is tennis counseling? How do you do it in Shaishya? When I entered into coaching, I joined my own coach, Shrimal Bhatt, and started coaching with him. At the same time I founded a small firm called Samasam, which means 'balance' in Sanskrit. Within that I incorporated the idea of tennis counseling. Of course now I do counseling and coaching at Shaishya Tennis Academy. In tennis, the difference between players at the highest level is a mental one. It is not so much physical, it is not so much technical or tactical as mental. Experience had taught me that very few people actually train kids mentally. And to train kids mentally, you don't need to necessarily do it on a tennis court; it can be done off the tennis court, it can be done in an office or a classroom. So I started tennis counseling. In fact, if I look back, most of the students who have come back to me for tennis coaching are the ones who actually took counseling from me. I counsel the kids, the players, and I counsel the parents also on a variety of topics like the mental aspect, planning their tennis and tournament schedules, and even queries regarding their academics. So it's more like being a tennis doctor. Q Are there any specific tools or steps t h a t y ou u s e , o r a c urric ulum that you follow, while counseling your students and their parents, especially on the mental front? That's a great question. Mostly people look at a game like tennis as a physical sport. But it came to me with experience that, at the end of the day, it is largely a mental sport. I know so many kids who would play well during practice, but in a match they would just fizzle out; they wouldn't perform well. So how to train these kids on these mental aspects? What I tell my students is that at the end of the day it's just a sport, it's just a game. So when I counsel the kids on the mental aspect, there's a whole set of values that I bring in. The better character and perspective the child has What I tell my students is that at the end of the day it's just a sport, it's just a game. So when I counsel the kids on the mental aspect, there's a whole set of values that I bring in. Spor t 40 Hear tfulne ss Spor t towards life and towards sport, the better they'll do in tournaments and be able to handle the pressure. The pressure in tennis, and even in life, comes from misdirected perspectives or misdirected ambitions. Tennis is not about winning or losing; a tennis match should be able to bring out the best in the child. I think that is also what challenges in life are all about. So in counseling sessions, all the time we keep reflecting back to what life is all about, and how tennis is just a miniature real-life situation without the real-life consequences. I am speaking about tennis, but it applies to all sports. Q Can you share some practical examples of drastic changes in students through this type of counseli
In this issue we hear from a number of our readers on the focus topic of being present. We also hear from Daaji on Pratyahara, in his series on Ashtanga Yoga, Vasco Gaspar is interviewed about Human Flourishing, and Theophile I'Ancien explores near death experiences. Ravi Venkatesan guides us through the emotional aspects of heartful negotiation in the business world, and Filiz Emma Soyak inspires us to meditate through her exquisite "one breath" art series and there is much more. Please enjoy!
Heartfulness : Living by the HeartBy tuning in to our heart, we learn to be centered in our highest self. Strengthen that connection and cultivate an inner knowing that wisely directs and guides our lives. Grow to face the challenges of life with courage and acceptance. Live by the heart, and become what we’re meant to be.
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