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Couples and Money
Even if you and your partner have a very strong relationship, you may find
it hard to avoid conflicts about money. One-third to one-half of all
couples have at least occasional financial disagreements, and the conflicts
can become serious enough to cause lasting harm to a relationship.
Many couples believe that a larger income would end their arguments
about money. But financial counselors say that this is rarely true because
most couples don’t fight about how much money they have -- they fight
because they have different expectations about what to do with their
income.
The importance of talking about money
Many arguments about money occur because couples haven’t clearly spelled out
their expectations about spending or saving. Instead, each member of the couple
simply assumes that the other shares his or her views on the subject.
That’s why it’s important to bring your feelings into the open. You may take it
for granted that you need to put aside some money for emergencies while your
partner believes that saving for a rainy day is less important than enjoying the
present. Or, you may want to pay your bills as soon as they arrive while your
partner likes to wait until the last minute to pay. Talking frankly about your
differences can keep disagreements from turning into major battles. Some
important issues to discuss include the following:
• Your overall views on money. Just as each person in a relationship has a different
personality, he or she may also have different attitudes toward money. One of the
most common causes of tension is that one person is a “spender” and the other is
a “saver.” It can be hard to avoid friction if you disagree strongly on the value of
having a nest egg or indulging in occasional luxuries. But if you talk about your
differences, you may be able to work out a few compromises that will keep the
tension to a minimum.
• Your big financial goals. Most couples have a variety of long- and short-term
financial goals. Yours might