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What would Jane Say?
Finding permission to “speak up” and be your
brilliant, powerful best!
By Kelly Smith, www.JaneInTheJungle.com
Cynthia Nixon, who plays Miranda on Sex in the City,
recalled her experiences as a female growing up with a
mother who constantly told her not to speak up in a
recent issue of “O Magazine.” As many of us can relate,
Nixon says she has paid a high price for not speaking her
Nixon says she has finally learned to speak up and to let
go of the outcome—she believes the key is to honor your voice. It’s not about
getting your way or proving another wrong—it’s about being powerful!
In my early 30s, I had a coach who worked and worked with me on my
communication skills. She consistently asked, What do you want? I wanted it all –
to be a great mom to my children, a marriage that worked, and a prosperous
career where I was happy and fulfilled. I wanted the American Dream! I had a
vision for my life, but deep down, I secretly didn’t believe I could have it all.
My coach helped me exit relationships that were draining and reinforcing my low
self image, and she encouraged me to go for what I wanted and to advance my life.
She supported me in speaking my truth. She was the first person I trusted and
revealed the intricacies of how my brain processed things.
I remember how great it felt! She never tried to fix how I thought; she accepted
and validated my thinking. She helped me to see other perspectives, but didn’t
make me wrong when I couldn’t see things another way. She just kept presenting
more empowering ways of viewing things. She loved and accepted me when I
couldn’t love and accept myself, and worked to show me how to listen and trust
One of the big frustrations women experience is we are made wrong for being more
complicated or “deeper” than men. I was talking to a woman whose 15-year-old
son engaged her in a conversation about women and girls because he had been
interested in a few gir