A POLICY STATEMENT ON
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COUPLES COUNSELING
The following policy statement on couples counseling appears in Confronting the Batterer, written by
Phyllis B. Frank, M.A. and Beverly D. Houghton, Ph.D., for the Volunteer for Counseling Service of
Rockland Co., Inc. It is reprinted here with the permission of Phyllis B. Frank.
Couple counseling is not a viable therapeutic tool for use in violent family relationships. We
define a violent family relationship as one in which physical or sexual assaults occur, threats of violence
occur, and/or woman lives in an environment of fear caused by her partner. Couple counseling remains
inappropriate even when both parties request it and/or want to maintain the couple relationship.
Couple counseling is beneficial to work on marital problems. Wife battering, however, is a violent
criminal act, not a marital problem. It is illegal. It is a behavior that is solely the responsibility of the
violent person, is chosen by him, and he alone is capable of changing it. This is true regardless of the
alleged provocation, since the behavior of one family member cannot compel another family member to
be violent. Violent behavior must be addressed and stopped before couple counseling takes place.
Volunteer Counseling Services will not utilize couple counseling in violent relationships. Treating a
couple together, before violence is addressed and stopped, could:
1. Endanger the battered woman who may face violence or threats of violence for revealing
information during therapy which is disapproved by her partner;
2. Lend credence to the common misunderstanding that battered women are responsible for the
violence inflicted upon them;
3. Ignore the denial, minimization and deception about the violence that occurs when the focus of
counseling is on the couple’s interaction.
4. Indicate that the therapist condones violence or that violence is acceptable or not important;
5. Reinforce stereotypic sex roles, thereby ignoring the battered wo