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Control your Anger, Don't let it Control You
Anger can be a paralyzing and debilitating condition. But it can be a
terrifying and degrading experience for your child if you're taking y
our anger out on them. Physical and verbal abuse of a child can have
lasting and lethal implications, so it's crucial that as a parent, you
do whatever necessary to get your anger in check.
As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to undo the wrongs that
were done to you as a child if you had an angry and abusive parent o
r parents. It can be very curative and demonstrate you where your tro
ubles lie are and inspire you to fix them. Perhaps your past is fille
d with unresolved hurt and anger. If so, take the necessary steps to
heal yourself. If you don't, you could unwillingly and unthinkingly
harm your child. Studies have shown that children whose mothers ofte
n express anger are more likely to be difficult to discipline. Ident
ify problems from your past and honestly look at current situations t
hat are angering you. Maybe you aren't fulfilled at work; perhaps you
r spouse and you are having relationship troubles, maybe you have oth
er personal issues or unfulfilled goals that are bothering you. If al
l your child ever sees is your angry face and hears an angry voice, t
hat's what they'll most likely grow into as well.
It's important to 'pick your battles' when parenting. Accidents and n
uisances don't warrant the energy and agony it takes to get angry. B
ut misbehaviors such as a child hurting themselves, others or propert
y demand a firm, quick and appropriate response from you. You will pr
obably have to continually remind yourself that the small stuff isn't
worth getting worked up over. And remind yourself also that you're t
he one in control of your anger; don't let your anger control you. P
ut yourself in time out, take a deep breath, walk away, do whatever y
ou have to in order to get a grip on yourself before addressing the s
ituation if you feel your anger coming on stron