Chapter 1
Cherish and Prioritize Relationships
Churches that are faithful over the essential principles of church growth cherish and put relationships first.
Building relationships should be the number one goal of the church.
The Importance of Relationships
Relationships are of the utmost importance. The word relationship is the most important word in church
growth, second only to the word gospel. "Relationships have many characteristics of living things. They are
born, and they can die. Relationships can be damaged, mended, broken, healed, diminished, built up,
enhanced, cultivated, sought, improved, rejected, cheap when purchased, valuable when given away, young,
old, fresh, stale, warm, cool, cold, conspicuous by absence, long-term, short-term, beautiful, ugly, cherished,
taken for granted, special, ignored, time-consuming, time saving, beneficial, draining, blessings, or curses.
Nearly everything we are about depends on the quality of relationships: our marriage and family, our
friendships, our employment, and our very legitimacy as a person."[1] Relationships are so important that they
must be cherished. Cherish means to care for and to nurture. Cherishing relationships in the church is no
different than cherishing relationships in a marriage. It does not just happen. You have to work at it. You must
develop it. You must be committed to making it work. In spite of whatever happens, the relationship is so
important that you will never walk away from it and never turn your back on it. It is absolutely necessary for
the pastor and church leaders to be in a constant, visible, loving relationship. The greatest church tragedy
today is the broken relationship, or perceived broken relationships, between pastor and deacons, elders, and
other significant lay leaders. As I travel across this country and listen to the horror stories that come from
church board rooms and business meetings, it is a wonder that these churches continue to exist. The sad
commentary is that some think poor relationships between pastors and de