Gregory Bodenhamer - 2006 All Rights Reserved
How do you become conscious of your Self? Direct conscious effort is necessary. You become
conscious by just for a moment "waking up", and by asking yourself:
"What am I feeling?"
"How do my feelings relate to what I am thinking?"
"How do my feelings relate to what I am doing?"
"Am I behaving rationally?"
These expose that painful or self-defeating emotions actually relate to self-talk, i.e. negative compulsive (though pre-
conscious) thinking, and result in behavior that may be irrational in the present circumstances.
Asking these questions will make you temporarily conscious, but probably you will not be able to keep this state, your
mind will become absorbed in something else and you will forget yourself. As you persist in in this kind of observation,
however, your moments of consciousness as Self will become increasingly longer.
What do you observe? Begin by watching your actions, reactions, responses and behavior. Be aware that you
are like "another person" - the awakened Self - looking at your human mind in operation. At first this will be very difficult
to do but as you practice, it will become progressively easier and automatic.
Continue by observing your posture, listen to your speech, observe how much you talk, listen to the tone of your voice,
i.e. the "way" you say something. Just be an interested observer of the habit patterns of your mind.
Observe how you automatically assume certain attitudes with some people, and different
attitudes with others, i.e. how you unconsciously switch identities and play different roles with different people and in
different situations. Watch all of your emotions, observe your mind wandering aimlessly in pure fantasy. Observe how
certain words by certain people trigger reactions in you that you cannot control.
Watch your defense mechanisms, your justifications, your rationalizations, your pet superstitions, your favorite criticisms,
and so forth. You are now starting to beco