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Co-Dependency and Food: Trying to Fill the Void
By Zo Houseman
Co-Dependency and Food: Trying to Fill the Void
by: Zo Houseman
Nice girls don’t speak up. Nice girls take care of and support others. These are just a few of the
messages girls often receive as they are socialized. Often in adulthood, these ingrained messages turn
into full-blown co-dependency. Years can go by. Unmet needs build up energy; they demand attention.
But without learning skills in setting boundaries, letting others feel their own pain and making oneself a
priority, food often becomes the hassle-free, soothing balm to take the edge off and release that pent
up energy momentarily, that is until the guilt sets in.
We are in one of the following roles when we are co-dependent – victim, rescuer or persecutor.
Following are a few examples of how these roles play out in our relationship with food:
Victim: You eat too much food. You gain weight and then can’t eat what you want. No matter what you
do, what diet you try, you can’t lose weight. No matter how you eat, you seem to continue to gain
weight, feeling worse and worse.
Rescuer: The dessert makes you feel better, especially the chocolate. It makes you feel loved. You feel
comforted and nurtured when you eat certain foods. You reward yourself with food over the smallest
perceived successes. Or someone may rescue you when you claim you can’t lose weight. “You’ve tried
hard. It’s not working for you. Go ahead and eat it. You’re not losing weight anyway. You can try that
new diet tomorrow.”
Persecutor: Y