• When the Indian chief Cochise was very sick, chiefs from other tribes from all
over the country converged to his village to pay their respects. Most of the braves
of Cochise's tribe were amazed to see so much attention paid to their leader. One
brave, however, commented that he was not surprised. When asked why, he said
that he expected other Indian chiefs to converge there because of Cochise
• Professor: Name another kind of measure besides Lebegue measure.
Student: If there is Lebesgue measure, there must be Le Small measure!!
• Prof: This term I offer topology.
Student: Great. Topology accepted.
• Q: Why can fish from the United States enter Canadian waters without a passport?
A: This is permitted by the Law of Aquatic reciprocity!
• Q: Why do people often take home the extra food after eating at a Chinese
A: This is done because of the Chinese Remainder theorem!!
• Q: Why are topologists espcially prone to malaria.
A: This disease comes from the Tietze fly!!
• Q: How do we know that mathematics is a violent subject?
A: We often hear about mean values, cross products, and warring fractions.
• Q: If a statement by Clinton is a Clintonism, and a statement by Reagan is a
Reaganism, What would you call a statement by Al Gore?
A: An algorism. (created by Markian Hlynka, before everyone else thought of it
or borrowed it)
• Name a former Texas based football team named after a mathematician.
The Houston Eulers.
• Q: How do we know that Riemann was short?
A: He often went around with stilts (Stieltjes).
• Q: Was Newton sick very often?
A: Yes, so often that he called himself "I sick" Newton.
(Time to go to L'hopital!)
• Q: Name a famous movie starring Tyrone Power as a swashbucking hero in the
early days of Spanish California. This was later made into a Walt Disney TV
series starring Guy Williams.
A: The Sign of Zero. (Ouch! Well, I said this was MATH humor.)
• Q: Why do truncated McLaurin Series fit the original function so well?
A: Because they are "Taylor