<p>The Lost Principles (Honesty)
John Bradshaw, the adult child of alcoholic guru, spoke this very telling comment about the
truth. "Telling the truth prevents future pain." Great principle. So why doesn't everyone tell the
truth? The answer is very simple. It takes a tremendous amount of emotional maturity to speak
the truth. Often the truth can lead to a confrontation which is something a person who is
emotionally immature can't deal with.
Larry, a dear friend of mine, who unfortunately has passed away, watched me with my daughter
one day. Anytime she did or said something that was wrong, I would have a huge reaction and
start to yell at her about her behavior. Larry just kept observing this.
Finally he said to me, "Jim, by reacting the way you do, all you're doing is grooming your
daughter to be a good liar." I finally understood what he meant when my daughter started to bend
the truth a little. I would ask her a question and she would poke around verbally to try to find out
what I wanted to hear. She did this to prevent my reaction. Emotionally mature people can speak
the truth without fear of a reaction from another person, and can handle the truth when it is
spoken to them.
In this country, we are so accustomed to dishonesty. One of our most popular presidents was
most definitely an emotionally immature liar. In 1998, we watched as President Bill Clinton
constantly deny his relationship with Monica Lewinsky. Why? Maybe he had a fear of an entire
country and, of course, his wife Hilary's reaction. When President Clinton continued to deny his
affair, things only got worse for him as other women come flying out of the closet pronouncing
that they also had affairs with the president. Clinton was also an expert in finding out what
people wanted to hear and then he would tell them. People joked that he always agreed with the
last person that he spoke with.
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