An exercise in cohesion - answer
The first text is the original text and is highly cohesive - even though it does not contain
many obvious linking words.
Some of the cohesion language is highlighted in green and blue. Note, in particular the
use of this at the beginning of sentences to link to the sentence before. Cohesion can be
really simple.
Attracting customers to buy your products and services needs a great deal of research and
planning to ensure the money you invest in gaining customers pays off. This is normally
achieved through market research and involves finding more about the people you hope to
sell to. Armed with this information you can then formulate an effective plan of action
based on your evidence. Once you are aware of the needs of your potential customers
you need to examine your product in detail, fix a suitable price which will help your product
sell, ensure you choose the correct method of distribution and select an appropriate
promotion to attract your audience. This is known as the marketing mix and can help your
business to spend money wisely with the best results
This text may at first sight look more cohesive, but in fact most of the cohesion words are
wrongly used. Be careful of overusing that sort of language.
Attracting customers to buy your products and services needs a great deal of research and
planning to ensure the money you invest in gaining customers pays off. Firstly, there is
market research and involves finding more about the people you hope to sell to. Secondly,
formulate an effective plan of action based on your evidence. Furthermore, it is important
to examine your product in detail. Moreover, you should fix a suitable price which will help
your product sell, ensure you choose the correct method of distribution and select an
appropriate promotion to attract your audience. So this is known as the marketing mix and
in summary it can help your business to spend money wisely with the best results.
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