STAR WARS, EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE
STUPID
By Don Feder
What can you say about a movie whose most engaging character is a two-foot tall,
pointy-eared, green alien? “Star War III: The Revenge of the Sith” is heavy on special
effects, sparse on drama, romance and emotion.
It’s also filled with director George Lucas’s muddled thinking. And, yes, it’s
science fiction in the service of Michael Moore’s worldview.
Despite its record-breaking opening, the last Star Wars installment is bad cinema.
The light-saber duels are fun. The alien creations are cool. The attempts to portray
passion or the corruption of the human spirit (how a man loses his soul) are pathetic.
In Christensen and Portman, Lucas has found a romantic duo who belong in a
remake of “Beach Blanket Bingo.” As Anakin Skywalker, Hayden Christensen is a
sulking, pretty boy who scowls a lot and attempts to project angst. His transformation
from the basically-decent-but-flawed Jedi Knight to the evil Darth Vader is Faust Light.
As former Princess, now Senator, Padme (Anakin’s secret wife), Natalie Portman
seems perpetually bewildered. (A condition that probably results from reading too much
Jedi philosophy – “Thus Spake Yoda.”) Her expressions span the spectrum from looking
moonstruck to being perplexed over her husband’s increasingly erratic behavior.
Then there’s Anakin’s less-than-credible conversion to the Dark Side of the
Force. The sinister Chancellor Palpatine seduces our young Jedi by promising to give him
the power to save his beloved wife from death (of which Skywalker has graphic
premonitions). Then, in the climatic scene – believing Padame has betrayed him --
Skywalker/Vader tries to strangle his pregnant spouse. “Luke, I’m your father – and I’m
confused as hell!”
That’s about all the space the plot deserves.
Let us then consider the film’s quasi-spiritual/political overtones.
What the heck is the Force, anyway? A New Agey invisible power “that binds the
universe together,” we were