The Marriage Repair Handbook PDF by Brad Browning

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Mend The Marriage Mend The Marriage PDF Mend The Marriage program Marriage Repair Brad Browning MARRIAGE REPAIR HANDBOOK MARRIAGE spouse make This relationship
About pdfbooks

PDF books, reports, book reviews and much more.
Mend The Marriage Mend The Marriage PDF Mend The Marriage program Marriage Repair Brad Browning MARRIAGE REPAIR HANDBOOK MARRIAGE spouse make This relationship
THE MARRIAGE REPAIR HANDBOOK
From World-Renowned Marriage Coach & Best-Selling Author
Thank you for downloading this free, special 
guidebook written by relationship coach and 
marriage expert Brad Browning. 
For the past decade, Brad has helped thousands 
of men and women around the world reunite 
repair damaged relationships and build happy, 
lasting marriages.  He is also the author of the 
best-selling “Mend the Marriage” program,  
World-Renowned Marriage Coach & Best-Selling Author
a comprehensive how-to guide that teaches simple, 
proven techniques for saving almost any marriage.
With 400,000 subscribers and over 50 million 
views, Brad’s YouTube channel is widely regarded 
as one of the leading resources for relationship 
advice online.  
Please watch this free tutorial video presentation 
for more detailed information on how to use Brad’s 
simple, proven tactics to begin repairing your 
marriage today.
If you’re reading this, you may be feeling hopeless, 
helpless and defeated. Your marriage is in serious 
trouble, and there’s a heavy weight on your heart. 
You wonder if it’s even worth going on. Chances 
are you’ve said some variation of the following...
  
 
 
 
 
 “My marriage is over”
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I’m here to tell you that that couldn’t be 
further from the truth. If you’ve come here 
seeking advice on how to save your marriage, 
you’ve already taken the most difficult-
-you’ve recognized the problem in your 
marriage and are working towards a solution. 
The truth is that your marriage is only over 
when you stop trying. 
Remember, you got married for a reason. 
There’s no couple out there who has the 
same story as you. There’s no marriage like 
yours in the entire world, and if you’re willing 
and able to fight for it, I’m here to help. 
The road to reconciliation will be long and 
difficult, but when all is said and done, you’ll 
find your marriage stronger than ever. Keep 
this handbook with you and refer to it often 
when you run into difficulty on your journey. 
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I believe that divorce has done more to damage 
marriages than almost anything else in 
history. Of course, I wouldn’t want to take away 
anyone’s right to a divorce, but it’s a simple fact 
that the possibility of divorce has weakened the 
power of marriage in society today.
You see, when divorce is a possibility, you’re 
more likely to see it as a way out and it 
becomes the focus. Whether you see it as a 
The Dreaded D -- Divorce
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sense of possible relief or a boogeyman that 
represents your worst fears, you’ve taken the 
focus off of what’s really important--the love 
you have for each other.
That’s why, instead of trying to stop divorce, 
we want to focus on building your marriage 
into something beautiful and enduring. 
So, for the time being, we’re going to forget 
about the idea of divorce. Put it out of your 
mind. You’re not going to read that word 
anywhere else in this book from here on out. 
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A marriage is like a car. It has a lot of moving 
parts--many systems that work together in 
order to keep it running safely and efficiently. 
If properly maintained, it can keep you on the 
road for life, but if you neglect maintenance, it 
will grind to a halt... or even go up in flames.
In this section I’ll help you identify the 
different mechanisms at play in your 
marriage. I’ll also help you understand what’s 
working and what isn’t. This information will 
be vital in building your marriage plan. 
CONFLICT 
A relationship without conflict is not possible. 
It’s how we deal with this conflict that 
determines how it affects the relationship. 
I’m going to tell you something that you’ve 
probably never heard before from any 
marriage expert...
Marriage Maintenance Checklist
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Conflict is actually good for your marriage.
Let me explain. 
Huge fights, screaming matches, and hurtful 
insults aren’t going to help your marriage, but 
they’re not the only way. If you can learn to 
manage your conflicts with restraint, compassion, 
and curiosity, you’ll begin to see that these 
conflicts shine a light on everything in our 
marriage that’s not working, and gives us the 
information we need to bring us closer together.
Let’s take a real life example. Take one of my 
clients Marley and his wife Chanice. One 
of the ongoing conflicts they were having 
when Marley first reached out to me went 
something like this:
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“Things had been so tense between us 
lately that I decided to cook Chanice and 
I a nice dinner. I put out candles, the good 
china, and I made her a delicious roast--
her favorite. She didn’t so much as thank 
me or even offer to clean up. So I just left 
the dishes in the sink and went to bed. 
The next day, she was furious. She said 
that I made this huge mess and didn’t 
clean it up. But I made the mess doing 
something nice for her! Doesn’t that mean 
anything!? Anyway, it just escalated from 
there. I ended up on the couch for a week. 
I don’t think I did anything wrong but I 
apologized just so we could move past it.” 
So, what went wrong? Well, when I dug into 
the issue further with Marley, we discovered 
something. This wasn’t the first time Marley 
had left a huge mess for Chanice to clean up. 
In fact, it was quite a common move for him.
When he spoke about it with Chanice, she said 
that it made her feel taken for granted. On a 
night when she was looking forward to just 
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unwinding and watching TV, suddenly she had 
to spend an hour doing the dishes and cleaning 
up the kitchen after Marley. Now, whenever she 
saw a roast on the table, it filled her with dread 
thinking about the cleanup she’d be expected 
to do (with no word of thanks).
This blew Marley away. He’d never considered 
that side of things before. Growing up, it was the 
rule in his house that one spouse would make 
dinner and the other would clean it up. Chanice 
said that it didn’t feel like a treat for her if she 
was now expected to do a bunch of dishes. 
Little did Marley know that he was making 
one of the three Marriage Murdering 
Mistakes. These mistakes are so common and 
yet so harmful that they can directly lead to 
divorce if not corrected. Check out this free 
video on my website to learn more.
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Talking about it calmly taught them both 
about each other’s priorities and emotions 
surrounding this common problem they were 
having. They reached a compromise. When 
Marley surprised Chanice with a big dinner, 
he’d also do the dishes. In return, Chanice 
made sure to show him how grateful she was 
for his hard work and selflessness.
Hopefully, this illuminates how conflict 
can actually be a driver of understanding, 
intimacy and, ultimately, change.
3 Simple Tips For Preventing Conflict  
With Your Spouse…
  
The 30-Minute Rule:
  
Set a “rule” whereby you must wait at least 30 
minutes before you mention something (ie. 
something critical, “nagging,” or anything that 
might result in an argument) to your spouse. Taking 
30 minutes to think things over before bringing 
up a complaint or issue allows you to cool down, 
step back, and take a look at the bigger picture.  
Sometimes you may realize that whatever it was 
you were upset about isn’t worth an argument, and 
other times it may just give you time to think about 
how you can discuss the topic with your partner in a 
civilized, non-confrontational manner.
  
Begin Sentences With “I” Rather Than “You”:
  
One Harvard professor who specializes in marital 
conflict suggests using the word “I” in an argument 
to avoid escalation (for instance, when you’re 
1
2
making a complaint to your spouse).  This one is 
especially useful when you’re saying something 
that your partner might call “nagging”… if you have 
a complaint about something your spouse is doing 
— leaving dirty dishes in the kitchen, for instance — 
then start your sentence with “I” when you broach 
the subject.
  
Use Humour To Defuse An Escalating   
 
 
     Argument:
  
If you find yourself in an argument with your spouse 
over something silly, humour can be an incredibly 
effective way to defuse things and bring perspective 
to the argument.  All you have to do is make an 
appropriately-timed joke or amusing comment when 
things are getting out of hand.  It doesn’t even have 
to be that funny… a bad pun or silly joke is usually 
fine, because it lightens the mood and helps both 
your and your partner see the bigger picture.
3
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Sex
Sex is the spark plug. I say this because sex 
is vital for any marriage:  it increases our 
intimacy and creates a connection like nothing 
else. It is one of the most misunderstood and 
taboo parts of marriage and so problems here 
can easily fester and grow out of control. 
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Here are some of the potential problems 
surrounding sex in a marriage:
SELFISHNESS: there is an imbalance in 
the give and take of pleasure in your sexual 
encounters. This can lead to resentment and 
scorekeeping.
PERFORMANCE ISSUES: Whether it’s 
difficulty maintaining an erection, problems 
with lubrication or difficulty achieving 
orgasm, this can easily become a mental 
barrier that’s hard to overcome.
WITHHOLDING: When one or both of you 
deny each other sex as punishment or in order 
to maintain power in the relationship.
DIFFERING SEX DRIVE: There is a natural 
imbalance in your sexual desire, making it 
difficult for both of you to achieve satisfaction.
FETISHES: A sexual hangup or desire that is 
outside the norm. Fetishes can lead to shame 
and misunderstandings in the bedroom.
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BOREDOM: Sex in a marriage can easily 
become routine and routines can quickly 
become stale.
This guide doesn’t offer solutions to these 
problems in detail, but identifying them in 
plain language will make them easier to face 
directly. Which of these problems affect your 
sex life? Pick the most pressing issue and 
start there. 
Perhaps the most common problem is 
differing sex drive. If you and your spouse 
have different ideas about how often you 
should be having sex, this can really create 
a problem in the bedroom. Remember that 
this is normal.
 
Sex shouldn’t feel like a chore, and it shouldn’t 
be done as a favour for the other person. You 
need to make an effort to understand your 
partner’s body and their needs and use this 
information to inform your intimacy. 
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What I want you to do right now is take the 
first step to improving the sexual health of 
your marriage. This step will be different 
depending on your particular relationship but 
here’s a place we can all start... I want you to 
do something right now to show your partner 
you find them attractive. It just takes a simple 
text message to start this journey.
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Opinion
This is one of the biggest sources of tension 
in interpersonal relationships, but luckily it’s 
also the easiest to solve.
The great thing about opinions is that 
they don’t often intersect with how we live 
our lives. Remember that they’re only as 
important as we make them. If differing 
opinions are creating big problems in your 
marriage, you need to learn to pick your 
battles.
Where we get real problems is where these 
opinions come into contact with reality. For 
example, maybe your spouse wants to raise 
your children without religion and you want 
them to go to church. These are opinions 
worth discussing, calmly, with a mind 
towards finding a solution that works for 
everybody.
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Expectations
Expectations are about our desire to have 
control in our relationship and our life. If our 
spouse doesn’t live up to them, this disconnect 
between what we want and what we have is a 
source of emotional pain. Loosen your grip.
If your marriage is in serious trouble, I want 
you to do something for me right now--
drop all the expectations you have of your 
spouse. Imagine your life without them in it. 
You’d have to rely completely on yourself to 
maintain your life. Could you manage? What 
would be missing? 
Take an inventory of your own wants and 
needs in life. Figure out which ones are 
being fulfilled, and which ones are lacking. 
This simple inventory can help put into 
perspective what’s really important to you.
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You see, the modern conception of marriage 
is that your spouse needs to fulfill your every 
need. They must be your therapist, your best 
friend, your muse and your caretaker. The truth 
is that this is an impossible standard to hold 
anyone to and it’s a huge driver of the epidemic 
of marital problems around the world.
You know who should be your therapist?  
An actual therapist. You know who should  
be your best friend? Your best friend.
If you’re currently relying on your partner 
to fill in these gaps, I recommend you start 
there. Obviously you’ll want to confide in your 
partner and lift each other up when you’re 
feeling down, but having a support system 
outside of your marriage is key for success.
So manage your expectations of what a 
marriage can be and you’ll find that you  
can get more satisfaction from less effort 
and, when all is said and done, you’ll have  
a fuller life.
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Money
The amount of money in our bank account can 
easily feel like a measure of our self worth and 
our safety. Because of this, fights about money 
are really about so much more. If one of you isn’t 
contributing the same amount or is spending 
carelessly, this can create a real problem. 
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This makes us feel that our work isn’t being 
valued or that they don’t take our needs into 
consideration. Stop. 
Remember...money isn’t your fuel; love is. 
If you can keep the role of money in 
perspective, you’ll actually have a better 
chance of improving your financial situation. 
This is because if you separate the number 
in your bank account from your sense of 
self worth, you’ll be able to really see your 
financial situation with clear eyes.
I recommend couples who frequently 
struggle with money look at budgeting. 
It’s not fun or sexy, but an effectively 
laid out budget can take a lot of stress 
out of your relationship. There are even 
services available that keep track of your 
transactions so you know how and where 
you’re spending your money to make it 
easier to plan for the future. 
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Broadly speaking, I always advise my clients 
to live more frugally whenever possible. 
Cutting expenses where you can will lead to 
greater financial stability and that can only 
help your marriage in the long run.
One money-saving tip I give to struggling 
couples is to forgo marriage counselling and 
look elsewhere to fix their failing marriage. 
This free video on my website can tell you 
more about how to begin this process.
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Children
I don’t care who your children are... kids are a 
stressor in every relationship. They require a 
lot of time, attention, and money. But they’re 
also what makes it all worthwhile at the end of 
the day, and if you can properly manage them, 
they can be a source of immense joy and 
marital satisfaction.
It’s important to present a united front when it 
comes to how you handle your children. Namely, 
get on the same page about what the rules are 
and enforce them in the same ways to avoid 
confusion. This tactic will have the effect of 
actually bringing you and your spouse together, 
uniting you against a “common enemy” of sorts. 
But there’s also cause for concern here. It’s 
common for children to come to dominate a 
marriage--becoming the only bond between 
you and your spouse as they eat up your time 
and emotional resources. This is why some 
people “stay together for the kids”... and break 
up as soon as they’re out of the house. Don’t 
let it happen to you.
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You need to focus on your alone time together. 
Put systems in place that allow you two to 
exist as separate from your children from time 
to time. It can be as simple as taking a walk 
together after dinner, or getting a babysitter 
once a week so you can spend some time alone. 
It’s not always realistic when you have young 
children to support, and that’s why you need to 
make it a priority or it just won’t happen.
When I tell couples to put the health of their 
marriage first, I often get pushback. The truth 
is, it’s in your children’s best interest that their 
parents have a happy and healthy marriage-
-this is what they’re going to model their 
relationships off of when they grow up. 
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Romance & Affection
For a lot of  couples, the last romantic moment 
together was their honeymoon. It’s easy to let 
real life creep in--bills, responsibilities, children--
but you can’t let it get in the way of romance.
Let’s talk about the difference between 
romance and affection. This may seem pretty 
obvious, but it’s an important distinction 
for one reason: you need both romance and 
affection to keep a marriage running well. 
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Affection is the little things: a touch on the 
shoulder, a kiss, a hug at the right time. 
Affection is the look in your eyes when you 
see them after a long day or the easy laughter 
that comes from being silly together.
Romance is affection’s more performative 
cousin--it’s more “action-oriented”. Basically, 
romance is the effort we make to make the 
other person feel loved, appreciated, and 
taken care of. This can come in the form of a 
candlelit dinner, a night under the stars, or a 
sexy scavenger hunt. 
Romance requires going out on a limb to 
surprise and delight your partner. It means 
saying and doing things that don’t come 
naturally, which is exactly why it’s so often 
neglected and so powerful. Romance isn’t 
something you do every day. It’s special 
because it’s occasional, and it’s important that 
you make the effort more often if you want to 
improve your marriage.
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The Past
Think about your vehicle’s history--it’s 
important to know, but useless to dwell 
on.  Similarly, you should make an effort to 
understand your partner’s past (both romantic 
and otherwise) and your own. Obviously, 
you’ve learned plenty about your partner’s 
past simply from being with them for so long, 
but chances are you never sat down and made 
a point of getting the full story in their words.
The importance of dredging up the past will 
depend on your particular marriage and your 
particular spouse but if you’re running into 
similar problems again and again, it is worth 
taking that extra step to understand them 
more fully.
Remember, the past is not a weapon to use 
against your partner but rather a tool you can 
use to better understand them. This means 
you shouldn’t use it to try to get your own 
way in a fight or as an excuse to dismiss their 
concerns.
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In fact, it’s almost always better not to bring 
it up at all in a conflict. Instead, look to the 
past when you’re looking to understand their 
feelings about a particular action or topic.
Maybe your husband is particularly jealous 
about your new male coworker.  You can’t 
understand why he’d get so fixated on this man 
who means nothing to you. But if you know 
that in his past he had a girlfriend cheat on him 
with a coworker, suddenly it all becomes clear.
So leave the past in the past. Only use it to 
understand, not to attack.
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This book is filled with ideas about how to 
rebuild your marriage from the ground up, 
but change can be difficult and scary. In this 
section I’ll give you steps to take--right now-
-to improve your marriage. This is what I call 
“Immediate Impact Actions”.  
Immediate Impact Actions are “easy wins” 
for your relationship that will give you the 
confidence to make more sweeping changes 
as time goes on.
Steps To Take Right Now
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Write Down The Important Dates
Forgetting an anniversary is one of the most 
common reasons fights happen in marriage, 
it’s also the most avoidable. Don’t let it 
happen to you.
Write it down on a calendar right now.
Go beyond that and try to remember 
anniversaries for things besides your wedding 
like your first kiss, your first date, or the 
first time you said “I love you”. These aren’t 
necessarily things your spouse will expect you 
to remember, which will make it all the more 
special when you surprise them with a small 
gift or even just some kind words. 
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Build A Budget
In the previous section entitled “Money”, 
I spoke about the importance of money 
management. If money is creating a huge 
strain on your marriage, there’s no better time 
than right now to begin budgeting.
Creating a budget can be daunting, so let’s 
start small. You need to figure out your 
monthly income after taxes and then your 
monthly set expenditures--the bills you know 
are coming in every month including rent, 
heat, electricity and internet. 
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With this information you’ll be able to begin 
the process of saving. Most online banking 
allows you to set up automatic withdrawals 
so that every month, a little from every 
paycheck goes into a savings account. Figure 
out a reasonable amount you can spare every 
month and set it aside.
Remember in this process you should not 
make a distinction between your and your 
spouse’s money. You need to look at it 
holistically--meaning that there should be no 
separation of finances between you two. This 
can be a difficult step for some, but it’s very 
key when it comes to mindset. 
If you’ve been having marital problems, 
then chances are you’ve developed some 
resentment towards your spouse. Whenever 
you can share something with your spouse 
whether it’s your pension or a home-cooked 
meal, you’ll start to develop the sense that 
you two are on the same team. 
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Surprise Your Spouse
This is something you can do right now. Make 
the effort today to surprise your spouse with 
something nice.
It can be a compliment, a date, a gift. Really, 
what form the surprise takes doesn’t matter--it’s 
the thought that counts. It can be as simple as 
picking them a flower from the garden.
If you’re in the middle of an ongoing fight, you 
may think now is not the time to surprise your 
spouse. Actually, now’s the best time. You can 
show them that you’re still the person they fell 
in love with and that even though you two are 
fighting, making them happy is still your priority.
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Try Out “Mend The Marriage”
Despite our best efforts, it’s a fact that around 
half of marriages end in divorce
This is difficult to face, especially when 
you realize so many of those divorces are 
preventable. Sometimes it’s due to the slow 
fade of intimacy and passion, or because of 
the three Marriage Murdering Mistakes you’re 
making without even knowing it.
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If you’re reading this and are afraid you’re 
heading towards divorce...
...then you need to check out my brand new 
video that will show you how to stop the 
downward spiral and breathe some life back 
into your relationship (even if your spouse is 
insisting on separation or divorce right now).  
In the video, you’ll learn about the 3 Marriage 
Murdering Mistakes and how to stop them 
before they destroy your marriage for good.
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Focus On Gratitude
When we’re dealing with ongoing marital 
issues, we tend to lose sight of what’s 
important: love. Remember that you chose 
to marry this person for a reason. They 
make your life better in a hundred different 
tiny ways. It’s easy to let your gratitude go 
unspoken and assume that they know how 
you feel.
Instead, tell your spouse something about 
them that you’re grateful for. It may feel 
difficult for you to be open like this, but the 
harder it is for you, the more powerful it’s 
going to be for your spouse.
Simply looking your spouse in the eyes  
and saying “thank you” has the power to 
transform your relationship. 
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Listen Actively
Distraction is a killer in any marriage. If 
you’ve been together awhile, chances are that 
you don’t always listen to them when they 
speak. You may feel like you have already 
heard everything they have to say.
The truth is, when we stop listening is when 
we stop understanding. You miss out on more 
than just small talk--you miss indicators that 
your marriage is really in trouble.
So put down your phone and focus on active 
listening. You’ll be surprised just what your 
partner has to say.
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The answer is yes, you can.
You don’t need anyone else’s help to fix 
your marriage, not even your spouse. 
Through the teachings in this handbook, 
you’ve already gained powerful tools that 
can completely transform your marriage, 
completely on your own.
That’s the difference between my approach 
and traditional marriage counselling. You’ll 
never hear me say that marriage counselling 
doesn’t work for some couples--it does-
-but marriage counselling is difficult to 
recommend due to its high cost, and the extra 
pressure that it puts on the relationship. 
In The End, Can You Really Save  
Your Marriage On Your Own?
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You see, it’s possible to save your marriage 
on your own, without a marriage counsellor, 
and even without your spouse knowing 
you’re doing it.
This is because my approach is different.  It’s 
based around a set of proven strategies and 
techniques that you can begin implementing 
today to begin making positive changes to 
your marriage… without your spouse’s help.  
I encourage you to watch my full free video 
presentation right now to learn several key 
concepts that have the power to breathe life 
back into your dying marriage, including:  
• How to stop making the 3 “Marriage 
Murdering Mistakes” that have destroyed 
so many relationships;
• How to use my “Dispute Defusing 
System” to help stop any argument in 
its tracks, leaving your spouse feeling 
victorious without you actually giving  
in to any of their demands;
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• How to employ a series of little-known 
“Immediate Impact Actions” -- small, 
subtle, techniques that make an extremely 
powerful impact -- to start changing how 
your spouse feels about you and your 
future together;
• How to use my “Big 6 Bond Builders”... 
these are simple but extremely powerful 
actions that will make your partner forget 
about all the doubts and uncertainties they 
have about the marriage, and force them 
to feel closer, and more intimate with you 
than ever before.
...and much, much more.  
THE  
MARRIAGE REPAIR 
HANDBOOK
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These techniques have helped tens of thousands 
of couples from over 100 countries repair their 
broken marriages and re-build happy, loving 
marriages that stand the test of time.
Learn how to get started right now simply by 
watching my free tutorial video.  Don’t wait 
until it’s too late - take action today to begin 
transforming your relationship.  
Thanks for taking the time to read this special 
free e-book… and best of luck repairing your 
marriage!  I’ll be rooting for you. 
Best regards,
Relationship Coach & Best-Selling Author