Independence and Interdependence
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Independent people know how to do things on their own, and interdependent people know how
to do things with the help of other people. Emotion-ally mature people know how to do both.
They can function on their own but still understand that other people can be used as resources to
help them solve some of life's problems.
Parents are always concerned about sending their children off to live on their own. They start to
worry around the time that their children get ready to go off to college. The biggest reason for
the concern is because, in the parent's' minds, they feel that they didn't teach their children
enough to survive independent of them. The parents may have the desire to speak frequently on
the phone with their children questioning them about their activities, their grades, who they're
hanging around with and even if they're doing their school work.
This constant questioning is directly related to the parents' uneasy feelings that they have about
their children living away from home. This constant questioning will often be interpreted by the
children as meddling and can even put a strain on their relationship with their parents. They may
become so annoyed by their parents that they dread any conversation, and when they do talk to
their parents it is only out of a basic obligation they believe they have.
Emotionally mature people understand the power of a positive relationship with their parents.
People who are emotionally mature realize that they were once dependent on their parents for
their care and for their needs. They want to become independent of their parents when they are
teenagers and may end up in a few battles with their parents in their efforts to achieve a certain
amount of independence. When they move into their late teens and early twenties, they realize
that their parents are a powerful resource in their lives and that they still need their parents' help
to manage their lives as young adults. They talk to their paren