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Presented by Daniel Toriola Lawyers are seen as the ultimate problem solvers and “the law” is seen as the be all, end all, of resolving all the world’s ills. Click here to know more If You Can Skip Just One Cup Of Coffee Every Month, it will put less caffeine in your body! Not Only That, It Will Also Pay Your Web Hosting Costs! Click Here To Check Our Pricing... Click here to know more Divorce: Coping With The Family Law Process By Charles M. Goldstein Divorce: Coping With The Family Law Process by: Charles M. Goldstein The Emotions Divorce is a scary, lonely and misunderstood process for most people, particularly when there are children involved. The mutual friends enjoyed during the marriage may not be of help because those individuals may not want to "pick a side." A divorce will introduce you to an entirely new balancing act. The Effect on Productivity at Work You must be conscious of how the divorce process affects your ability to function on your job. There may be occasions when you will feel overwhelmed by a typical day's workload. On such occasions, you may wish to apportion work in terms of what you can handle. You may at times find yourself uncharacteristically testy and acerbic to friends and colleagues, uncommunicative, depressed, and distracted. You should try to be alert to these personality and mood changes and work with a counselor to solve them. At times this may involve temporarily modifying project responsibilities or adjusting assignments until you achieve a level of equanimity. On still other days, you may not be able to cope with the workplace or home environment at all, no matter how light the workload. When this happens, it may be prudent to request a brief personal leave. If your behavior and interaction cannot be altered through temporary changes, you may need to seek professional counseling during this stressful period. Keep in mind that while going through a divorce you will face numerous demands on your time: meetings with an attorney, accountant and counselor, possibly locating a new residence (and furnishing it) and establishing new lines of credit. Plan ahead where possible for these contingencies by asking your employer for projects that do not have a tight deadline. Flexible working arrangements, such as job-sharing, or the opportunity to compensate for lost time by working in the evening or on weekends, are other possibilities. You should not let others treat you as an emotional cripple. You are probably already experiencing feelings of helplessness and an inability to control your life. By being overprotective and shielding you Tao Of Divorce eBook - Tao of Divorce: A Woman's Tactical Guide to Winning - (based on Sun Tzu's the Art of War) Page 1 Presented by Daniel Toriola from the daily realities of the workplace or running interference with fellow employees or clients, the employer may only exacerbate those feelings. Work may be the only place you can achieve a sense of self-worth and personal strength during this difficult period. The Process Some people winding their way through the divorce process may experience fatalistic or, conversely, unreasonably hopeful feelings, and may rely on divorce process myths that further complicate the situation (for example, a belief that the system is entirely gender biased). Unfortunately, the legal process is not designed to address emotional issues for the participants. Although there are milestones, such as filing the initial documents, there are no true emotional releases. Even the finalizing of a divorce is a bittersweet experience and is likely to feel like a letdown. No one truly wins in a divorce because the estate is always divided and both individuals have fewer assets than prior to the divorce. Unfortunately, the legal process is often one of attrition. The time and expense of the legal process often dictates the results as one of the parties can no longer afford the resources or the time to continue to dispute issues. The many difficult aspects of the legal process often cause frustration and result in increased anger and hurt. In combination with the plethora of negative emotions which led to the divorce in the first place, one facing a divorce may turn to revenge as a primary motivation and extend the divorce proceeding to hurt the other spouse. On the other hand, a spouse may prolong the divorce process in the hope that reconciliation might occur. The Solutions Mediation may be the best answer. If you and your spouse can still communicate and have some common ground, mediation may be the most economical, efficient, and effective way to resolve the issues in the divorce. The mediator must be well trained and be competent in the area of family law. You should consult with an attorney before and after the mediation to be properly advised on negotiation of the issues and on whether the final result is a comprehensive solution. You may need guidance in selecting an attorney. Your union, company corporate attorney or human resource department may be a source of names. The attorney should be practicing primarily, if not exclusively, in the area of family law (the area has become too complicated to be effectively handled by the generalist). The attorney should have the most current research software and resources available within the office (Lexis and FinPlan Divorce Planner are good examples). Competence, comfort and convenience are three primary considerations in selecting the attorney. Evaluate whether the attorney has a plan which will properly allocate resources to achieve realistic and wise goals. You should be cognizant of the importance of limiting conversation with the attorney to the nuts and bolts and not try to convince the lawyer that the soon to be ex-spouse is a less than admirable human being; that's for a counselor. It will also save time and resources for an already stretched budget. Also, one should not fear asking another attorney for a second opinion at any point in the process. It is no more improper than having a doctor provide a second opinion on a serious medical condition. The divorce process is time consuming in even the simplest cases and will make demands upon your schedule. Because the courts and your attorney are probably working the same schedule as you are, it is probable that some absences and interruptions of work will be unavoidable. Court dates, especially, are not optional. Advise your employer immediately of any court dates, as those occasions may require Divorce Method How to maximize financial, emmotional, and custodial results of divorce. Page 2 Presented by Daniel Toriola an absence from work for at least one half day. When you provide documentation regarding income or other employment information, keep in mind that the courts have strict guidelines and time limits. Promptly providing the necessary information is essential. Lastly, as an attorney, I remind my clients that the legal process of divorce is basically to divide assets, arrange custody, establish support, and address insurance and debts among other issues. It is not the last argument or the final revenge. While the attorney can assist a person going through the divorce process on the legal matters, emotional help is more appropriately available from close friends or professional counselors. Please contact me if I can ever be of assistance in answering a question about legal representation in the divorce process. Charles Goldstein practices family law in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is committed to providing accessible, effective and reasonably priced family law litigation and mediation services. For a free telephone consultation, call 952.449.5299. http://www.fmlylaw.com MunchkinMenus Relieve your suppertime stress & bring your family back to the dinner table with hundreds of recipes your whole family will love. Page 3 Presented by Daniel Toriola Moving Beyond Your Divorce By Brad Jefferson There is no way around it; divorce is a painful process to go through. Even when the relationship has been on a downward spiral and both parties have been miserably unhappy, ending the relationship with a divorce is a tremendous loss on both sides. Many who go through a divorce will grieve the loss of the partnership in the same way one grieves for a person who has died. In some cases, more years together will result in a greater sense of loss and abandonment when the divorce takes place. For others, even the end of a newer marriage can trigger similar feelings, with grief for the loss of a companion during a divorce compounded by the shattered dreams and hopes of the life together that was anticipated. If you are currently going through a divorce, or still reeling from a separation that is now legally complete, there are people who can help. The Divorce Process The main person who will help you get through the divorce process itself can be your divorce attorney. Your divorce attorney will see to it that your rights are protected, your property is divided fairly and your children are well cared for. Sometimes simply knowing that your divorce is in the able hands of your attorney gives you the necessary confidence to make it through the process. Your divorce attorney can even guide you through a mediation and amicable divorce agreement so you can avoid the stress of court altogether. This is especially true if you have children involved in the process and you are concerned about whether their rights are being protected under divorce law. If you need further assistance dealing with your divorce and don't know were to turn, your divorce attorney may also be able to point you in the direction of a competent individual who can help you work through the many negative emotions you are reeling from. Support Groups or Group Therapy If the pain and loss are not getting any easier after the divorce process is complete, it might be time to consider joining a support group or group therapy. There are many divorce support groups in every area of the country, so you should be able to find one that you are comfortable with and that works well with your schedule. If you are unsure where to look for these groups, you might ask your divorce lawyer that handled your divorce proceedings for a recommendation. At the very least, you may take comfort in the fact that others are experiencing similar situations. You may also get sound advice from people who have gone through the process before you and have learned methods of coping with the situation through their own experiences. Divorce is a challenging situation that can bring up feelings of abandonment, loneliness, anger and even grief. Don't try to go through the process alone. If you are unsure where to turn, ask your divorce attorney for assistance in getting the support you need to survive this difficult process. Brad Jefferson has worked with many couples and individuals dealing with divorce. If you are going through a divorce, he highly recommends the law firm of Persily & Associates. http://www.persilylaw.com Millennium Divorce E-Books Leading E-Books on Divorce and Separation Issues for the consumer. Excellent conversion & revenue. Page 4 Presented by Daniel Toriola Related eBooks: Moving Beyond Your Divorce Preparing for Divorce Reasons To Use An Experienced And Dedicated Family Law Attorney In South Carolina A Family Law Lawyer Can Make it Go Smoother Family Legal Decisions: Legal Separation or Divorce? Get more Free PDF eBooks at FreePDFeBooks.com Related Products: Coping With Alzheimer's Disease How to keep up the SPICE in your Love Life. PPC Profits How to Gain and Retain More Customers File Resource Meter Software Malamaal.com: A genuine resource center for Quality Ebooks and Softwares This PDF eBook is for free Distribution only, it cannot be SOLD Downloads Games Traffic? Great website that converts, great PPC sales 75% for you! By Platinumpartner.com. Click here to know more Powered By FreePDFeBooks.com ReBrand this PDF eBook with your Name / URL / ClickBank Affiliate ID for Free Avoid The 10 Biggest Divorce Mistakes Find out how to avoid making common costly mistakes during divorce and save thousands of dollars. Page 5
