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About James H Burns
Since 1977 Jim Burns has been working with students who have learning disabilities and behavioral problems. He has almost 40 years of experience working as an administrator, teacher, college instructor, and seminar leader. He is committed to helping administrators, parents, and teachers establish standards of excellence and help them build successful relationships with their staff, students, and children. He has written and designed The Bully Proof Classroom, a graduate course that is now offered at The College of New Jersey, and La Salle University in Pennsylvania in partnership with The Regional Training Center. This course has been endorsed by the NJEA. He has also written “Anti Bullying 101.” A book that provides teachers, administrators, support staff and parent’s 101 tips on how to achieve permanent help in dealing with unruly behavior and can be used as part of any anti-bullying program. In May of 2015 Jim was awarded the degree of Doctor of Humane Letters by Gratz College in recognition of his almost forty years of work in student behavior management and anti bullying. He is available for on sight in-services and keynotes.
Bare Feet And White Flour
Have you ever wondered why your parents did some of the things that they did. I did lots of
times. My dad had so many regimented activities that I thought he had a screw lose or
something. I'm only going to talk about two here because there are too many to put into one
essay.
I really spent time observing my dad as a kid and listening to him. It wasn't until I was about
forty that I realized some of the benefits of his behavior and, very recently, some of the real
benefits of his behavior. My dad had an unbelievable fear of getting a cold. He came home from
WWII with malaria and tuberculosis. He was always cautious of sharing food, towels, cups, and
silverware. Any watermark on silverware in a restaurant was sent back immediately.
I remember one time in a restaurant in New York a fork went back three times. Some people
send food back. He sent the silverware back. It got so bad that one guy sitting close to use told
my dad that the he thought that the waitress was on Candid Camera.
If you sneezed you were accused of trying to bring a cold into the house, to try and kill him. He
was hospitalized on December 27, 1967 due to a re-occurrence of the TB and was sent to the
infirmary at the veteran's hospital in East Orange NJ for 3 months. When he was released from
the hospital anything and everything could give him a cold.
Two things were absolutes, cold feet and white flour. I never saw my father walk around without
shoes or slippers on. He wouldn't walk three feet without putting on a pair of slippers. If you
sneezed, he would always ask you what you ate. My sister, my mother, and I thought he was
crazy. Bare feet and white flour would make you sick and if you got sick, well as he put it, "If I
get a cold I am finished."
All of these things I observed always stuck with me. When I was about 40 years old I started to
battle my weight. Always watching my calories and trying to stay in shape. The Atkins diet
started to become very popular along with other diets that restricted carbohydrates, and other
foods that contained you guessed it, white flour. Exactly what the old boy was talking about 30
years ago. Suddenly everyone had a carbohydrate allergy, was gaining weight, had type-two
diabetes, high blood pressure, and all kinds of health issues because of white flour. I started to
watch my white flour intake and I started to lose weight. The stuff I loved as a kid was
something that could kill me. The stuff that my father said could make me sick was making me
sick.
Recently I was walking around the backyard wearing a pair of three dollar. I have a tendency to
drag my feet when I walk primarily because my feet are kind of flat, something my dad had also.
I walked from the shed to the concrete walkway and slammed my right foot into an Adirondack
chair. I know I broke the middle toe. At least it looked broken.
The next day passing through the garage I stubbed the same toe on a hand weight in the middle
of the floor. I got into the car in agony, looked down at my foot which had the same three dollar
flip-flop on it and I could hear my father say to me, "Will you please put your slippers on."
This isn't the first time I stubbed that toe but it is the first time it dawned on me that my father
knew me because I was just like him. He didn't want me to go through the same agonies that he
had gone through. He didn't want me to get fat or stub my toes. Unfortunately, he just had a
strange way of letting me know. I don't think he ever gave me the reason why he did what he
did. That's probably why it took me thirty years to figure it out on my own. If I could ask for
something I would ask that my two daughters learn the reasons why I do what I do quicker than I
learned things from my father. There's a question that kids ask all the time "Why do we have to
do this?" Sometimes by the time that gets figured out, it's too late. So put your slippers on and
have a piece of whole wheat toast, you'll be glad you did.
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