Stop Watching and Start Grooming

Stop Watching and Start Grooming, updated 1/18/18, 3:58 PM

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About James H Burns

Since 1977 Jim Burns has been working with students who have learning disabilities and behavioral problems.  He has almost 40 years of experience working as an administrator, teacher, college instructor, and seminar leader.  He is committed to helping administrators, parents, and teachers establish standards of excellence and help them build successful relationships with their staff, students, and children.  He has written and designed The Bully Proof Classroom, a graduate course that is now offered at The College of New Jersey, and La Salle University in Pennsylvania in partnership with The Regional Training Center. This course has been endorsed by the NJEA.  He has also written “Anti Bullying 101.” A book that provides teachers, administrators, support staff and parent’s 101 tips on how to achieve permanent help in dealing with unruly behavior and can be used as part of any anti-bullying program. In May of 2015 Jim was awarded the degree of Doctor of Humane Letters by Gratz College in recognition of his almost forty years of work in student behavior management and anti bullying.   He is available for on sight in-services and keynotes.

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Stop Watching and Start Grooming


Why did our parents stand the test of time 50 years ago and stay married, and manage money so
well? Why have the last 3 generations suffered so much financial difficulty, and been involved in
one divorce after another? We observed our parents being financially responsible, and we
observed our parents remaining married. The problem is we observed, but we never learned. It's
almost like watching a car mechanic fix a car, but never learning how to fix it ourselves.
Wisdom, wise decisions, wise behavior, needs to be learned. We needed to know why our
parent's did what they did and we needed to be shown how to do it.

If society is going to develop the wisdom, common sense, or street smarts it has to start with
grooming the kids of today and giving them the instruction they need to deal with money and
relationships. When you get right down to it there really isn't much else left. The challenge is
great because parental role models are not as wise today as they were in days past. Parents can't
be asking their children what they want to be when they grow up, they have to taught the best
career choices and then pointed in that direction. Parents have to teach their children how to
handle money at a young age and show them how to save and invest for the future. Parents have
to stop thinking that they don't have a say in terms of who their children choose as a marriage
partner. They have to speak up; if they believe that who their son or daughter is dating is not
good for them they need to instruct them about the qualities they believe are important in a life
partner. Society believes after a certain point that kids know what they're doing and they'll be
fine. Parents don't want to interfere. They don't want to ram something down their kid's throats.
If parents don't ram something down their kid's throats some else will. If society is going to
become wise again, it will have to spend more time teaching, and less time watching. We can
start to teach our kids now when their young, or wring our hands as they get older and wonder
where we went wrong.